ARTRAX SE3 REAR TIRE
1 hour ago
11/25/2009
11/24/2009
I don’t believe in luck, but I do believe in miracles
Take a look at the Attribution Theory and you will realize that certain factors are attributable to success and failure. Motivation plays a stronger role in success or failure than does luck. Let’s take motivation in education, for example. Four factors related to the attribution theory influence motivation: ability, difficulty, effort and luck.
Ability is a relatively internal and stable factor over which the learner does not exercise much direct control.The way I see it, we are in control of abilities and efforts. Difficult tasks be achieved through hard work and motivation, but luck…luck is for losers. Luck is a good reason to stop trying and hard work is recognizable. Attributing luck to success or failure leads people down a path of self-fulfilling prophecies. Thus, people give up trying. For the reason that luck has never dictated my life or my goals, I honestly don’t believe in luck.
Task difficulty is an external and stable factor that is largely beyond the learner's control.
Effort is an internal and unstable factor over which the learner can exercise a great deal of control.
Luck is an external and unstable factor over which the learner exercises very little control. (Attribution Theory)
Miracles, on the other hand, I believe in. Miracles present to us an important element which forms and defines our spiritually and our religious thinking. Miracles allow us to believe in God and to realize he cares about us and does not turn his back on us. Miracles also help us to remember the importance of perseverance and not to abandon hope. Without a strong belief in miracles, our connection to our faith and to God allows us to feel lost.
Lately, the state of the nation’s economy leaves us pondering whether things will get better. People have lost their jobs and their savings, including 401K plans. We all want to believe that housing prices have stopped falling and that the current government relief and assistance for homeowners would actually allow us to breathe a sigh of relief. Unemployment is something on the minds of each of us, and each of us knows someone who has lost a job. The people losing jobs are people who have always worked hard and they have always paid their mortgages. Five years ago, it would be hard to believe, now it is a reality.
I don’t know about the rest of you but I am so tired about experts talking about jobless recovery. What about the promises about healthcare for every American and the proposed energy program that can’t seem to get moving or even voted upon. It seems like our politicians are promising to remake America, but none of us are convinced that our smash-mouth politicians will ever make any progress. After years of financial turmoil, a miracle must be underway, but don’t count on it.
Miracles involve bigger forces and sometimes they involve people like you and me. Sometimes, we are looking for miracles and sometimes, we are capable of making miracles happen for others. As the holidays come near, many of us are struggling. I look at it this way, no matter how much I am struggling, there are others out there struggling more than I am. I am struggling just like the majority of Americans, but I already got my miracle and in return, I am hoping to provide a miracle for someone else. Every small gesture is valuable and every small gesture can be someone else’s miracle.
I continue to believe in miracles because I have seen miracles first hand. Being religious or spiritual is about having faith and holding on to hope. Having faith and holding on to hope is about believing in things we cannot see. I believe in miracles the same way I believe in God. Luck, on the other hand, I don’t believe in, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
11/23/2009
I am blogged out so here's a repost
Ten Lessons I Have Learned Being a Mom to Boys
(Note: If you have a weak stomach, please move on the next post.)
1. Pee has a mind of its own and a little boy has no control of that. It will find its way onto your bathroom wall and floors and into the trashcan. Quite often, it lives outside, maybe even on your patio, because little boys are “too tired” to come inside or make it “all the way inside” to get to the “toilet.” According to my nine year old, it doesn't matter anyway.
2. Clothing is optional and so is underwear, especially when you announce it at a doctor's appointment. Clean underwear is hard to find no matter how many loads you washed this week.
3. Touching yourself is required, any where and any place. In addition, the word “penis” is funny no matter how many times boys are told not to say it, and they will pick the worst times to say it, like in the middle of a busy restaurant.
4. Keeping your hands to yourself is impossible. Punching your siblings is an uncontrollable reflex.
5. Wrestling is the sport for any occasion, even under a ballroom table during your aunt’s wedding, and note to self, never purchase a white suit jacket for a five year old boy that will turn it black an hour after the arrival to the reception.
6. Band-Aids are the cure-all to any ailment and they fix other things such as broken toys. They usually don’t stay on very long through, and quite often, you are walking around with one stuck to the bottom of your foot.
7. Do NOT, under any circumstances, try the stiff test on boys clothing. If you think something is dirty, just throw it in the hamper. An odor from boys clothing will last for days under your nose.
8. Video games make you smarter, and boys hate when you beat them at games. That is usually about the time Mom becomes “uncool” and “unfair.”
9. Poop-filled underwear in the back of your son’s bedroom closet will take days for Mom to find, but when she does, the screaming shrill coming from the bedroom can be quite humorous to everyone, but Mom.
10. No matter how old a boy gets, he will always need his Mom, and quite often, buggars and separation anxiety go hand and hand.
Anyone else have any additional lessons about raising boys they would like to share?
1. Pee has a mind of its own and a little boy has no control of that. It will find its way onto your bathroom wall and floors and into the trashcan. Quite often, it lives outside, maybe even on your patio, because little boys are “too tired” to come inside or make it “all the way inside” to get to the “toilet.” According to my nine year old, it doesn't matter anyway.
2. Clothing is optional and so is underwear, especially when you announce it at a doctor's appointment. Clean underwear is hard to find no matter how many loads you washed this week.
3. Touching yourself is required, any where and any place. In addition, the word “penis” is funny no matter how many times boys are told not to say it, and they will pick the worst times to say it, like in the middle of a busy restaurant.
4. Keeping your hands to yourself is impossible. Punching your siblings is an uncontrollable reflex.
5. Wrestling is the sport for any occasion, even under a ballroom table during your aunt’s wedding, and note to self, never purchase a white suit jacket for a five year old boy that will turn it black an hour after the arrival to the reception.
6. Band-Aids are the cure-all to any ailment and they fix other things such as broken toys. They usually don’t stay on very long through, and quite often, you are walking around with one stuck to the bottom of your foot.
7. Do NOT, under any circumstances, try the stiff test on boys clothing. If you think something is dirty, just throw it in the hamper. An odor from boys clothing will last for days under your nose.
8. Video games make you smarter, and boys hate when you beat them at games. That is usually about the time Mom becomes “uncool” and “unfair.”
9. Poop-filled underwear in the back of your son’s bedroom closet will take days for Mom to find, but when she does, the screaming shrill coming from the bedroom can be quite humorous to everyone, but Mom.
10. No matter how old a boy gets, he will always need his Mom, and quite often, buggars and separation anxiety go hand and hand.
Anyone else have any additional lessons about raising boys they would like to share?
11/22/2009
Coping means acceptance, strength, control, and personal growth
RA has taught me acceptance which was not complex, but finding that I was not always in control was quite difficult to say the least. In the beginning, I thought and believed that I would get better, and but it seemed RA presented one obstacle after another for me. Further, even though I accepted RA in my life, and there has not been a day that my emotions got the better of me. I grieve and sometimes, I feel sorry for myself. I know that my feelings are justified, but it angers me that RA has robbed me of my future. However, I have learned to make use of my good days and to do the best that I can on those days.
I have learned that RA controls my life more often than I do. I have learned to that I have to find better ways to control my life and my feelings. I control my RA and life with knowledge. I understand what tests my doctors take and why and what my medications are supposed to do, because I take the time to ask questions. I focus on eating healthy, taking my medications and vitamins as required, and getting enough rest. I leave the rest in God’s hands and I pray for guidance and strength. Again, in terms of control, I try to plan and I anticipate that my condition may affect my plans. I always fight and I try not to give up. I know my attitude plays a role in how I feel every day. I find better ways to do things and I do not overexert myself if I don’t have to.
I look for support and I ask for help when I need it. I work with my doctors and I trust that they have my best health interests in mind. I have focused on strengthening my relationships as much as I can, and I spend time with my children every opportunity I get. I have joined support groups and focused on meeting with others struggling and dealing with the issues I deal with.
I have learned to accept the physical aspects of RA, but I refuse to be weak because of it. I know my limitations and maybe, when I look in the mirror, I don’t always see the strong resilient woman I used to be, but I understand I have changed, and I know that I am still me.
Sometimes, my emotions are all over the place – I feel angry at RA, my body, myself, my doctors, my family and my friends. I know that is part of living with a chronic illness. Sometimes, it is hard to express what you are feeling on any given day without hurting those that you love. I have pity parties, and I cry, but I also have days where I am really tough. I know that it takes a lot to find humor, hope and faith with you struggle every day with a chronic condition and I pray that my loved ones understand. My faith gives me strength and I know that with God, everything is possible. We all the power to heal and we have the ability to be courageous.
I look for distraction as method of forgetting about my pain, weakness and fatigue. I still try to focus on my career, my family, and faith, and my life is still meaningful despite RA. Personal growth is what I have gained, and as difficult has it has been, it has also been a rewarding journey. I have learned to be strong no matter how tough life gets. I have learned to be positive and to see the beauty in the simplest of things. I appreciate that I am alive and I do my best on a daily basis to treat others with kindness. When it rains, I look for rainbows. I have changed, and if anything positive came out my diagnosis, it was my personal growth.
Any person who lives with a chronic illness struggles, but we learn to cope. While we are coping, we learn acceptance, strength and control. Through all those lessons, we achieve personal growth. I am not alone in my journey, and I remind myself that not everything is about "me," but I do have pity parties often. I once read that the late Christopher Reeve had his own pity parties every morning for ten minutes, and then he would move on with his day. We all need pity parties.
11/21/2009
I Hate Having Rheumatoid Arthritis
This is a venting moment. There are 2.1 million Americans who have been diagnosed with rheumatoid and sometimes – okay, always – I wish I wasn’t one of them.
I hate RA because:
I try to maintain a positive attitude but there are days where I have a lot of anger and resent. RA has changed my whole life. The pain never ends and I am always tired. I guess I wish I knew what “normal” was. There are activities I have had to limit or stop doing all together. I worry about the future and I hate the grim future of this disease. I hate that it affects those I love, and I hate the disappointment I see in their eyes when they see me hurting.
I have had to bow out of many family activities because either I am just too tired or I am in too much pain. I have found a lot of resentment from people who just do not get that I am not the same person I was a year or two ago. I cannot win with RA; I guess none of us can.
RA sucks out my energy, my concentration, my patience, the problem solving skills I need to use on the job, and it has taken away my time and my dreams for the future. I feel guilty that I will not always be able to provide for my family or that I do not have time for old friends, or time to make new ones. RA takes all of that away from you. All I do is work and attend to my home life. Sometimes, I wonder whether I should bother finishing up my master’s degree with RA as a part of my future.
On some level, I try to make the best of the changes that RA has brought to my life, and I try to look at the positives in my life, but there really isn’t a day that goes by that I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn’t sick all the time. It is also hard when no one understands – your family, your friends, co-workers, etc. They look at you as if you are imagining the fatigue and the pain. If the pain is bad at night, you wake up worse in the morning and you know it.
I also feel guilty that my husband does not have a pleasant wife. I hate that I am always too tired to work on our marriage. I hate that he does not always understand that I feel sick all the time.
However, I accept Rheumatoid Arthritis in my life because:
It is a part of my life, and I accept it. I work hard to deal with it and to go on with my life. I struggle, but everyone struggles with something, and for me, its RA. I do not let the disease define me, and I am not alone. I have met many great people in my journey who really get what I am doing through. I accept RA because I cannot change it. I accept RA because I have people that depend on me, and despite RA, they need me.
If anything, I learn every day to accept my life with RA, and to live the best I can with this disease.
I hate RA because:
I try to maintain a positive attitude but there are days where I have a lot of anger and resent. RA has changed my whole life. The pain never ends and I am always tired. I guess I wish I knew what “normal” was. There are activities I have had to limit or stop doing all together. I worry about the future and I hate the grim future of this disease. I hate that it affects those I love, and I hate the disappointment I see in their eyes when they see me hurting.
I have had to bow out of many family activities because either I am just too tired or I am in too much pain. I have found a lot of resentment from people who just do not get that I am not the same person I was a year or two ago. I cannot win with RA; I guess none of us can.
RA sucks out my energy, my concentration, my patience, the problem solving skills I need to use on the job, and it has taken away my time and my dreams for the future. I feel guilty that I will not always be able to provide for my family or that I do not have time for old friends, or time to make new ones. RA takes all of that away from you. All I do is work and attend to my home life. Sometimes, I wonder whether I should bother finishing up my master’s degree with RA as a part of my future.
On some level, I try to make the best of the changes that RA has brought to my life, and I try to look at the positives in my life, but there really isn’t a day that goes by that I wonder what my life would be like if I wasn’t sick all the time. It is also hard when no one understands – your family, your friends, co-workers, etc. They look at you as if you are imagining the fatigue and the pain. If the pain is bad at night, you wake up worse in the morning and you know it.
I also feel guilty that my husband does not have a pleasant wife. I hate that I am always too tired to work on our marriage. I hate that he does not always understand that I feel sick all the time.
However, I accept Rheumatoid Arthritis in my life because:
It is a part of my life, and I accept it. I work hard to deal with it and to go on with my life. I struggle, but everyone struggles with something, and for me, its RA. I do not let the disease define me, and I am not alone. I have met many great people in my journey who really get what I am doing through. I accept RA because I cannot change it. I accept RA because I have people that depend on me, and despite RA, they need me.
If anything, I learn every day to accept my life with RA, and to live the best I can with this disease.
Examiner Cleveland: Topics that affect moms everywhere
Today’s moms are busier than ever before with the demands that they have. Their demands come from every direction: their jobs, their children’s schools, and their home lives. Quite often, the only peace and quiet mothers get is when they crawl into bed at night. And even then, the majority lay awake thinking about the next day, stressing about money, and worrying about all aspects of their family’s lives.
I have been a mother for what seems like an eternity. For me, being a mother is a wonderful gift even though sometimes, I really good use a break. When I started writing for the Examiner, I never imagined the type of issues that affected mothers everywhere, stay-at-home moms and working moms alike. For every mother, it is a balancing act and every mother questions her abilities.
Please come by and visit me my Examiner homepage and read along. Please feel free to comment with any suggestions, ideas or just whatever is on your mind. Thank you.
Check out my latest articles.
Working moms are at a higher risk for depression; they are also less likely to seek treatment A 2008 Working Mom Magazine survey found 91% of working mothers reported that they had signs of depression. The study also revealed that:...Keep Reading »
Recognizing working mom burnout, part 1 Being a working mother is like running a marathon everyday. You work long hours and you take care of your children and it certainly takes a lot of...Keep Reading »
Preparing yourself for Black Friday shopping You are yet to get the circulars that clog up your mailbox and you really don’t have time to review them all. If you want to be prepared ahead...Keep Reading »
Crockpot tips for the Working Mom #1: Fried Chicken in the Crockpot If you think you can only make soups and stews in your Crockpot, this fried chicken recipe will surprise you. This recipe needs a little bit of... Keep Reading »
The slow cooker and the working mother If you are a working mother, you dread coming home after a long day and preparing dinner for your family. Quite often, you end up making the same...Keep Reading »
Ways to ease the stress of the work-life balance There is no question that being a working mom is stressful and tiring work. The working mothers that you see on television shuffling their children...Keep Reading »
Tips for Sighting Bad Daycares As a working mother, there are so many issues and challenges that you come across on a daily basis. One of the most significant is sending your...Keep Reading »
Tips for sighting good daycare centers Picking the right day care for your children can be practically stressful for working mothers. Dropping off your child to daycare every morning for...Keep Reading »
Tips for choosing the right daycare One of the hardest choices a working mother must make is choosing the right daycare, and feeling at ease about doing so. Choosing the right daycare...Keep Reading »
How to Monitor Your Children's Internet Use John Robinson’s book titled Anyone You Want Me to Be tells the story of the first Internet serial killer. Anyone can pretend to be anything on...Keep Reading »
How to spend quality time with your children when you work outside the home When you work outside the home, it can be quite difficult to find a balance between work and family. Quite often, your job will interfere with the...Keep Reading »
When a working mother lives with an arthritis-related condition More than 130 million Americans suffer from chronic pain conditions. Women are more likely to suffer from a chronic arthritis-related condition such...Keep Reading »
How do working moms do it all? Every working mom is asked how does she do it all, and quite often, the working mom asks herself the very same question. What does “doing it...Keep Reading »
Surviving the 9 to 5 as a working mom More than 50% of mothers with small children work outside the home, and the main reason that these mothers work outside the home is financial need....Keep Reading »
Wal-Mart to offer some relief during the upcoming holiday shopping season The current state of our economy has forced many of us to start our Christmas shopping early and it is estimated that 70%...Keep Reading »
Lack of common sense or zero tolerance? A first grader who brings a camping utensil to school to use at lunch gets suspended for 45 days due to his...Keep Reading »
Working moms can stop feeling guilty "It seems that no educated modern woman can have a baby without suffering agonies of self-doubt about the meaning of...Keep Reading »
Sleep strategies for working moms A 2007 Sleep in America poll found that: Working moms sleep less than 6 hours per night on weeknights and are less...Keep Reading »
Taking time for yourself According to Reuters Health, mothers of young children who feel they are not getting enough emotional support or...Keep Reading »
Connecting with local moms Parenting is a tough job, and sometimes, keeping a work-life balance can be difficult. To connect with other...Keep Reading »
Tips for working moms to help maintain balance As moms, we spend our days trying to keep a game face while trying to do it all and find some balance. Every working mother wishes for more hours in...Keep Reading »
I have been a mother for what seems like an eternity. For me, being a mother is a wonderful gift even though sometimes, I really good use a break. When I started writing for the Examiner, I never imagined the type of issues that affected mothers everywhere, stay-at-home moms and working moms alike. For every mother, it is a balancing act and every mother questions her abilities.
Please come by and visit me my Examiner homepage and read along. Please feel free to comment with any suggestions, ideas or just whatever is on your mind. Thank you.
Check out my latest articles.
Working moms are at a higher risk for depression; they are also less likely to seek treatment A 2008 Working Mom Magazine survey found 91% of working mothers reported that they had signs of depression. The study also revealed that:...Keep Reading »
Recognizing working mom burnout, part 1 Being a working mother is like running a marathon everyday. You work long hours and you take care of your children and it certainly takes a lot of...Keep Reading »
Preparing yourself for Black Friday shopping You are yet to get the circulars that clog up your mailbox and you really don’t have time to review them all. If you want to be prepared ahead...Keep Reading »
Crockpot tips for the Working Mom #1: Fried Chicken in the Crockpot If you think you can only make soups and stews in your Crockpot, this fried chicken recipe will surprise you. This recipe needs a little bit of... Keep Reading »
The slow cooker and the working mother If you are a working mother, you dread coming home after a long day and preparing dinner for your family. Quite often, you end up making the same...Keep Reading »
Ways to ease the stress of the work-life balance There is no question that being a working mom is stressful and tiring work. The working mothers that you see on television shuffling their children...Keep Reading »
Tips for Sighting Bad Daycares As a working mother, there are so many issues and challenges that you come across on a daily basis. One of the most significant is sending your...Keep Reading »
Tips for sighting good daycare centers Picking the right day care for your children can be practically stressful for working mothers. Dropping off your child to daycare every morning for...Keep Reading »
Tips for choosing the right daycare One of the hardest choices a working mother must make is choosing the right daycare, and feeling at ease about doing so. Choosing the right daycare...Keep Reading »
How to Monitor Your Children's Internet Use John Robinson’s book titled Anyone You Want Me to Be tells the story of the first Internet serial killer. Anyone can pretend to be anything on...Keep Reading »
How to spend quality time with your children when you work outside the home When you work outside the home, it can be quite difficult to find a balance between work and family. Quite often, your job will interfere with the...Keep Reading »
When a working mother lives with an arthritis-related condition More than 130 million Americans suffer from chronic pain conditions. Women are more likely to suffer from a chronic arthritis-related condition such...Keep Reading »
How do working moms do it all? Every working mom is asked how does she do it all, and quite often, the working mom asks herself the very same question. What does “doing it...Keep Reading »
Surviving the 9 to 5 as a working mom More than 50% of mothers with small children work outside the home, and the main reason that these mothers work outside the home is financial need....Keep Reading »
Wal-Mart to offer some relief during the upcoming holiday shopping season The current state of our economy has forced many of us to start our Christmas shopping early and it is estimated that 70%...Keep Reading »
Lack of common sense or zero tolerance? A first grader who brings a camping utensil to school to use at lunch gets suspended for 45 days due to his...Keep Reading »
Working moms can stop feeling guilty "It seems that no educated modern woman can have a baby without suffering agonies of self-doubt about the meaning of...Keep Reading »
Sleep strategies for working moms A 2007 Sleep in America poll found that: Working moms sleep less than 6 hours per night on weeknights and are less...Keep Reading »
Taking time for yourself According to Reuters Health, mothers of young children who feel they are not getting enough emotional support or...Keep Reading »
Connecting with local moms Parenting is a tough job, and sometimes, keeping a work-life balance can be difficult. To connect with other...Keep Reading »
Tips for working moms to help maintain balance As moms, we spend our days trying to keep a game face while trying to do it all and find some balance. Every working mother wishes for more hours in...Keep Reading »
11/20/2009
Happy 1st Blogiversary to me!
11/19/2009
Seven Pounds
Will Smith plays Ben Thomas, a man who is repenting for some bad choices. In the beginning, we see Ben Thomas making a 911 call to report a suicide – his own. Something happened to Ben Thomas that leads him to help seven people, and on his journey to fulfill this goal, he has to determine whether each of these persons are deserving of his help.
Seven people - his brother, a high school hockey coach, a young boy suffering form leukemia, a social services worker, a young woman who needs a heart, a blind man and an abused woman and her children – are all connected to one man’s generosity. It is a story you have to see to believe, and the reason he helped those seven people and how – you will find out as the story evolves.
This is one amazing story and it definitely left an impression on me or else I would not be blogging about it. Like I said, prepare a big box of Kleenex and prepare yourself for a tearjerker of an ending.
Yes…but you are married now???
Me: How have you been doing?Yes…but you are married now??? Did I detect a hint of jealousy there? For years, I held a flame for this guy and when, he finally decided he had held a torch for me, I was engaged to my husband. I smiled, trying not to blush, at the words “yes…but you are married now,” and tried to reassure him that we would always be friends, but I knew that the moment I married my husband, that wasn’t true. After I got married, he barely talked to me and after my now 14 month old was born, my friend cut off all communication with me.
Him: Good, yourself?
Me: I am great. It’s been awhile since I have seen or heard from you. A year maybe?
Him: Yeah, well…you changed your phone number on me.
Me: I have email; you could have sent me an email.
Him: Yes…but you are married now.
I said goodbye to my friend, and walked away with my boys. There was nothing more to be said. For years, I was madly in love with this guy, and he barely knew I existed. Then, one day, he told me how he felt, and I did nothing, because at that point in my life, it wasn’t what I wanted. I was a single mother looking for stability and he was still partying like it was 1999, and something tells me he is still partying like it is 1999.
On the other hand, I am not saying that I don’t still hold a torch for him, but I know, without reservation, that the grass is NOT greener on the other side. Sometimes, a part of me longs for a spur-of-the moment impulse, considering the only spontaneous thing my husband does is wear his boxers to bed instead of his Mr. Rogers’ pajamas, and heck, he wouldn’t even notice if I shaved my legs or if I didn’t, but that isn’t me. I picked my husband because I wanted stability in my life. I was a single mother trying to make my way in the world and impulse was the last thing on my mind.
I am a working mother of two children, a toddler and a tween. I barely get eight hours of sleep at night, I don’t have time to eat healthy, I don’t have time to worry about my hair or makeup on a daily basis, or shoes or purses, and I am lucky if I have a moment to myself. But, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. On most days, my hair is up in a bun; I am not wearing any make up, and walking around in sweats. I have RA and Fibro and most of the time, I just want to be left alone, and well, that is good enough for my husband. He loves me unconditionally despite all my flaws, and believe me, I have many.
And as for my friend’s jealousy, it was nice for that moment to realize I was still alive. Because a working mother’s life is busy and lonely all at the same time, sometimes a mother needs to feel like she is a human, and not just somebody’s mother or somebody’s wife.
11/18/2009
Rheumatoid Arthritis is a lonely disease
I will be the first to admit that the physical aspects of RA play an important role in the emotional components of the disease. Everyone talks about the ups and downs of the disease forgetting emotions play an important part of those ups and downs. Quite often, outside understanding of RA focuses on the physical: Chronic pain and fatigue, limitations, loss of abilities, and the other health issues that RA brings with it.
While the physical components are important in research development and treatment of patients, it is necessary to understand that in order for patients to heal and feel better and for others to understand what people with RA go through, or any other chronic condition for that matter, it is equally important to look at the many emotions of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Maybe it's just me, but doctors, family, and friends tell newly diagnosed cancer patients “It’s about attitude!” Go ahead and tell that an RA’er that, and actually mean it. That, my friends, will never happen. First, get people to understand the physical components of the disease, and that in itself is complex, but now, try to get them to understand the grimness of a chronic pain condition without any cure. (Well, good luck with that!)
For me, I look at the years I struggled for answers, and then my responses after diagnosis. I have gone through the emotions when I was first diagnosed, and I have gone through the emotions from that day forward. I have questioned my abilities, my responsibilities, relationships and my own personal identity – both on a personal and a professional level. My blog is a true testament of that and I have done it all alone. By alone, I mean my emotional RA rollercoaster - I rode it alone. Of course, I had the RA community of bloggers to listen and read my concerns, and I listened and read their concerns. All in all, I did it alone and so do the majority of RA’ers. If I have learned anything at all, it is that RA is a lonely disease.
RA guy commented on a previous post: “This reminded me of the long period in which I too used to believe that this was "all in my head", when doctor after doctor used to dismiss and/or chuckle at my complaints. In the past few years since I have been diagnosed it has been all too real...but I sometimes forget about that long period during which I had no clue what was going on in my body. Hopefully more people who are going through this same thing will continue to do web searches and come across our blogs, and will begin to receive some validation of their health issues before they receive it from the medical profession."
This comment left me thinking what more I could do to make RA a less-lonely disease for others because, even one year after my diagnosis, RA is still lonely and I know that it will continue to be. My blog, and the blog of every RA’er is important to those who are looking for answers and “validation for their health issues” and that validation is not coming from the medical profession. As a matter of fact, there is so much questioning and lack of recognition and understanding of the seriousness in the medical community about the existence or emphasis of RA and many other autoimmune conditions.
For me, I know that loneliness exists because of the ignorance of medical minds. I am not saying that all doctors are ignorant of RA, CFS, Fibromyalgia, and the hundreds of autoimmune diseases out there, I am saying there is not enough information and research, and that lack of ________________ (insert your favorite substitute for knowledge) leads to a lack of emotional understanding about chronic pain conditions including RA.
Since those well dressed suits that do not recognize the loneliness and the emotional toll that patients endure – I am going to tell them.
Rheumatoid arthritis is a lonely disease. Patients experience depression daily and have so many unanswered questions. They feel hopeless and uncertain of the future. They wonder what they did to deserve the disease and if they can possibility live one more day in pain. That is what loneliness feels like. They choose to fight, because they have no other options. It does not come easy and they wake up every morning wanting to stay in bed because getting up is a reminder of their disease. Their plans for the future have changed, but --- they have made new ones. They know they can’t change their fate, but they still force themselves out of bed every morning. It is not easy, and it’s not fun, but they do it.
One day at time, you learn that RA can only take away the things you let it take from you. Fortunately, there are people out there who understand because they struggle on a daily basis with the same things you struggle with. An estimated 2.1 million Americans have Rheumatoid Arthritis.
There are no answers to RA, there are just questions. All you can do is fight and teach yourself strength, so you can believe you will make it. Yes, you fight this disease alone, but 2.1 million Americans means you are not alone. Living with RA is a battle everyday so the medical community needs to start getting it right and not leave people alone trying to find the answers. They need to recognize RA, Fibro, Lupus, and the 100 other autoimmune diseases out there and put an emphasis on research and stop telling us that our pain levels affect our emotions because we already know.
And if you don’t know where to start, start recognizing how lonely it is for sufferers to suffer alone and then start looking for answers. In 2005, the National Arthritis Data Workgroup revealed that by 2030, the number of people with arthritis will rise by 40%. It is time to stop insisting that RA is a “condition” that affects primarily older Americans and that the numbers of new diagnoses have decreased and last, the stages of RA play no important role in early diagnosis and treatment so that useless, expensive research has to come to an end. Further, stop calling RA a “condition” and call it a “disease.” No one focuses on fighting cures for conditions; that is a privilege for diseases.
There, I said it! Any other RA’ers care to add something?
While the physical components are important in research development and treatment of patients, it is necessary to understand that in order for patients to heal and feel better and for others to understand what people with RA go through, or any other chronic condition for that matter, it is equally important to look at the many emotions of Rheumatoid Arthritis. Maybe it's just me, but doctors, family, and friends tell newly diagnosed cancer patients “It’s about attitude!” Go ahead and tell that an RA’er that, and actually mean it. That, my friends, will never happen. First, get people to understand the physical components of the disease, and that in itself is complex, but now, try to get them to understand the grimness of a chronic pain condition without any cure. (Well, good luck with that!)
For me, I look at the years I struggled for answers, and then my responses after diagnosis. I have gone through the emotions when I was first diagnosed, and I have gone through the emotions from that day forward. I have questioned my abilities, my responsibilities, relationships and my own personal identity – both on a personal and a professional level. My blog is a true testament of that and I have done it all alone. By alone, I mean my emotional RA rollercoaster - I rode it alone. Of course, I had the RA community of bloggers to listen and read my concerns, and I listened and read their concerns. All in all, I did it alone and so do the majority of RA’ers. If I have learned anything at all, it is that RA is a lonely disease.
RA guy commented on a previous post: “This reminded me of the long period in which I too used to believe that this was "all in my head", when doctor after doctor used to dismiss and/or chuckle at my complaints. In the past few years since I have been diagnosed it has been all too real...but I sometimes forget about that long period during which I had no clue what was going on in my body. Hopefully more people who are going through this same thing will continue to do web searches and come across our blogs, and will begin to receive some validation of their health issues before they receive it from the medical profession."
This comment left me thinking what more I could do to make RA a less-lonely disease for others because, even one year after my diagnosis, RA is still lonely and I know that it will continue to be. My blog, and the blog of every RA’er is important to those who are looking for answers and “validation for their health issues” and that validation is not coming from the medical profession. As a matter of fact, there is so much questioning and lack of recognition and understanding of the seriousness in the medical community about the existence or emphasis of RA and many other autoimmune conditions.
For me, I know that loneliness exists because of the ignorance of medical minds. I am not saying that all doctors are ignorant of RA, CFS, Fibromyalgia, and the hundreds of autoimmune diseases out there, I am saying there is not enough information and research, and that lack of ________________ (insert your favorite substitute for knowledge) leads to a lack of emotional understanding about chronic pain conditions including RA.
Since those well dressed suits that do not recognize the loneliness and the emotional toll that patients endure – I am going to tell them.
Rheumatoid arthritis is a lonely disease. Patients experience depression daily and have so many unanswered questions. They feel hopeless and uncertain of the future. They wonder what they did to deserve the disease and if they can possibility live one more day in pain. That is what loneliness feels like. They choose to fight, because they have no other options. It does not come easy and they wake up every morning wanting to stay in bed because getting up is a reminder of their disease. Their plans for the future have changed, but --- they have made new ones. They know they can’t change their fate, but they still force themselves out of bed every morning. It is not easy, and it’s not fun, but they do it.
One day at time, you learn that RA can only take away the things you let it take from you. Fortunately, there are people out there who understand because they struggle on a daily basis with the same things you struggle with. An estimated 2.1 million Americans have Rheumatoid Arthritis.
There are no answers to RA, there are just questions. All you can do is fight and teach yourself strength, so you can believe you will make it. Yes, you fight this disease alone, but 2.1 million Americans means you are not alone. Living with RA is a battle everyday so the medical community needs to start getting it right and not leave people alone trying to find the answers. They need to recognize RA, Fibro, Lupus, and the 100 other autoimmune diseases out there and put an emphasis on research and stop telling us that our pain levels affect our emotions because we already know.
And if you don’t know where to start, start recognizing how lonely it is for sufferers to suffer alone and then start looking for answers. In 2005, the National Arthritis Data Workgroup revealed that by 2030, the number of people with arthritis will rise by 40%. It is time to stop insisting that RA is a “condition” that affects primarily older Americans and that the numbers of new diagnoses have decreased and last, the stages of RA play no important role in early diagnosis and treatment so that useless, expensive research has to come to an end. Further, stop calling RA a “condition” and call it a “disease.” No one focuses on fighting cures for conditions; that is a privilege for diseases.
There, I said it! Any other RA’ers care to add something?
11/17/2009
Don’t ya just love the side effects?
If we could only find the humor in side effects, there would be room for irony. Think about drug commercials. They talk about how wonderful life is after you take their drug, and then they talk about side effects and the wonderful things about the medication are over. (I guess that would explain why the dancing stopped.) Actually, there are more side effects than there are positive aspects of the medications. (Yes, a small price we pay to try to feel better.)
So the next time you are wobbling around due to dizziness, nausea, and extreme fatigue, remind yourself that “Celebrex is not for everyone. You shouldn’t take Celebrex if you are pregnant or have had allergic reactions or asthma symptoms from taking aspirin. In rare cases, serious stomach problems, such as bleeding, can occur without warning. The most common side effects include indigestion, diarrhea and stomach pain.” (Common on, keep trying until you will see in the humor in it!)
Is the point of taking medication is to feel better in one place, i.e., your joints, to feel worse every where worse? With all the side effects, are meds really worth taking? Someone should tell the drug companies that patients like feeling queasy, having indigestion and diarrhea, and it would make sense that my arthritis does not stop me from calling 911 in case of bleeding without warning. The average Joe sees the logic, why can’t the drug companies?
Let’s take a medication for depression. “Anti-Depress Drug#2’s most common side effects include insomnia, dry mouth, diarrhea, tremors, agitation, sweating, and decreased appetite. Well, it is nice that patients are able to take their depression off their mind and find something else to concern themselves with. I guess I wouldn’t mind being a sweaty, cranky insomniac over being depressed. Thanks to the frequent diarrhea and decreased appetite, I saved money because I did not have to go to the gym.
Now, I will try not to make my own mother blush here, but Viagra’s side effects are quite interesting aren’t they? What is “bluish vision?” An erection lasting more than four hours? (Sorry Mom, I had to throw that one in.)
I really think that the drug companies really should leave the information about side effects to the doctors to explain, first. Second, maybe they could focus on medications that don’t force people in their 30s to fall asleep in the middle of a company meeting (it wasn’t me), or cause them to be depressed, overtired and crankier than a toddler who has missed his nap.
This is my way of venting about side effects. It is nice and all that I finally remember how to walk without wobbling, but I swear the dizziness, nausea, sinus symptoms, and extreme yawning (fatigue) are making me insane. This is worse than Obama’s proposed healthcare plan.
So the next time you are wobbling around due to dizziness, nausea, and extreme fatigue, remind yourself that “Celebrex is not for everyone. You shouldn’t take Celebrex if you are pregnant or have had allergic reactions or asthma symptoms from taking aspirin. In rare cases, serious stomach problems, such as bleeding, can occur without warning. The most common side effects include indigestion, diarrhea and stomach pain.” (Common on, keep trying until you will see in the humor in it!)
Is the point of taking medication is to feel better in one place, i.e., your joints, to feel worse every where worse? With all the side effects, are meds really worth taking? Someone should tell the drug companies that patients like feeling queasy, having indigestion and diarrhea, and it would make sense that my arthritis does not stop me from calling 911 in case of bleeding without warning. The average Joe sees the logic, why can’t the drug companies?
Let’s take a medication for depression. “Anti-Depress Drug#2’s most common side effects include insomnia, dry mouth, diarrhea, tremors, agitation, sweating, and decreased appetite. Well, it is nice that patients are able to take their depression off their mind and find something else to concern themselves with. I guess I wouldn’t mind being a sweaty, cranky insomniac over being depressed. Thanks to the frequent diarrhea and decreased appetite, I saved money because I did not have to go to the gym.
Now, I will try not to make my own mother blush here, but Viagra’s side effects are quite interesting aren’t they? What is “bluish vision?” An erection lasting more than four hours? (Sorry Mom, I had to throw that one in.)
I really think that the drug companies really should leave the information about side effects to the doctors to explain, first. Second, maybe they could focus on medications that don’t force people in their 30s to fall asleep in the middle of a company meeting (it wasn’t me), or cause them to be depressed, overtired and crankier than a toddler who has missed his nap.
This is my way of venting about side effects. It is nice and all that I finally remember how to walk without wobbling, but I swear the dizziness, nausea, sinus symptoms, and extreme yawning (fatigue) are making me insane. This is worse than Obama’s proposed healthcare plan.
11/16/2009
Humira Update
Many of you have asked me how Humira has been working for me, and I have been hesitant to respond. The reason for that is because I am simply not sure. I just want to find a whole bunch of wood and just knock on it over and over. I took my first injection only two weeks ago and I will be taking my second this morning.
It is has been exactly one year since my official RA diagnosis and in the past year, I have not lived one day without pain. I do not even remember what it is like to be “normal,” as if any of us suffering from a chronic pain condition know what normal is.
For the past two months, I have dragged my left foot around hoping that I will be able to move normally again, and that I would remember what it was like not to be in pain from my knee down to my toes. (Get this! I have been wearing the same pair of hippie slippers day after day because nothing else fits due to the swelling in my ankle and foot. And Boy, are they ugly slippers!)
In addition to my foot pain, I have had days where I have not been able to buckle my seatbelt or the baby’s car seat – I am so grateful for my wonderful nine year old – he is my rock, and he has helped me through those tough days. There were days where I have had to type at work dealing with pain in my wrists and my fingers. Even resting my elbows on my desk is painful. There were days where I was too weak to clean my house or even get out of bed. It has been very hard for me to walk a quarter a mile from my office to the parking garage. I have to rest because my legs do not want to move and my hips and my back feel like they can no longer take it. There were days where it hurt just to pick up the baby and I was afraid I would drop him. Fortunately for me, he walked before his first birthday. And yes, don’t forget the days (short-lived) that I could conquer the world (or at least my life). Did I mention the brain fog? I could definately do without that.
This has been the norm for me for the last year. I have found my strength in the smiles on my children’s faces and in prayer. I have accepted it and I have accepted that pain is apart of my life. I don’t take anything for granted like being able to get up in the morning without that same pain that I have had in my foot for the last two months. Yes, you read that right. The realization that the pain in my foot has subsided is something I never anticipated. Of course, the stiffness and the inability to move my leg and foot are still there, but the pain is nearly gone.
It could be the Humira, it could the entire medicine regime I take everyday, or it could be me running towards remission (okay, I am thinking big), but I don’t take it for granted. This is my first big accomplishment with my rheumatoid arthritis and I wanted to share it with the RA community of bloggers. This may seem like a small victory, but for me, it is big, especially considering that I have not had a break in nearly a year. Small victories can turn into big victories.
I don’t know what the future holds and I know that there will be setbacks. I don’t even know if remission is possible for me, but I have hope, and I know that I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I have always been a positive and resilient person, and even when life hands me lemons, I make lemonade with a smile. Underneath that smile, I always hold on to hope no matter what my struggles were.
In the last two years, I have been handed obstacle after obstacle, and yes, there were times where I wanted to give up, but I always reminded myself what I was fighting for. I fight my children, I fight for my marriage, and I fight for my health. My children and marriage won’t be successful if my health isn’t.
RA has forced me to give up some of my career dreams, but it has also opened my eyes up to a brighter picture and for that, I am grateful. I would describe it as needing glasses, and if you wear glasses or contacts, you know exactly what I mean. Things are much clearer when you put on your corrective lenses, aren’t they? I am not unhappy at the things I have given up, and I am actually grateful that I was given the opportunity to stop and smell the roses. And if not for RA, I would have never known how sweet smelling those roses were.
UPDATE: 11:30 a.m.: The stiffness and feeling is coming back into my leg, knee, ankle and foot, and I am having a hard time keeping my balance. Apparently, I have forgotten how to walk without limping, pain and stiffness. Isn't RA wonderful?
It is has been exactly one year since my official RA diagnosis and in the past year, I have not lived one day without pain. I do not even remember what it is like to be “normal,” as if any of us suffering from a chronic pain condition know what normal is.
For the past two months, I have dragged my left foot around hoping that I will be able to move normally again, and that I would remember what it was like not to be in pain from my knee down to my toes. (Get this! I have been wearing the same pair of hippie slippers day after day because nothing else fits due to the swelling in my ankle and foot. And Boy, are they ugly slippers!)
In addition to my foot pain, I have had days where I have not been able to buckle my seatbelt or the baby’s car seat – I am so grateful for my wonderful nine year old – he is my rock, and he has helped me through those tough days. There were days where I have had to type at work dealing with pain in my wrists and my fingers. Even resting my elbows on my desk is painful. There were days where I was too weak to clean my house or even get out of bed. It has been very hard for me to walk a quarter a mile from my office to the parking garage. I have to rest because my legs do not want to move and my hips and my back feel like they can no longer take it. There were days where it hurt just to pick up the baby and I was afraid I would drop him. Fortunately for me, he walked before his first birthday. And yes, don’t forget the days (short-lived) that I could conquer the world (or at least my life). Did I mention the brain fog? I could definately do without that.
This has been the norm for me for the last year. I have found my strength in the smiles on my children’s faces and in prayer. I have accepted it and I have accepted that pain is apart of my life. I don’t take anything for granted like being able to get up in the morning without that same pain that I have had in my foot for the last two months. Yes, you read that right. The realization that the pain in my foot has subsided is something I never anticipated. Of course, the stiffness and the inability to move my leg and foot are still there, but the pain is nearly gone.
It could be the Humira, it could the entire medicine regime I take everyday, or it could be me running towards remission (okay, I am thinking big), but I don’t take it for granted. This is my first big accomplishment with my rheumatoid arthritis and I wanted to share it with the RA community of bloggers. This may seem like a small victory, but for me, it is big, especially considering that I have not had a break in nearly a year. Small victories can turn into big victories.
I don’t know what the future holds and I know that there will be setbacks. I don’t even know if remission is possible for me, but I have hope, and I know that I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I have always been a positive and resilient person, and even when life hands me lemons, I make lemonade with a smile. Underneath that smile, I always hold on to hope no matter what my struggles were.
In the last two years, I have been handed obstacle after obstacle, and yes, there were times where I wanted to give up, but I always reminded myself what I was fighting for. I fight my children, I fight for my marriage, and I fight for my health. My children and marriage won’t be successful if my health isn’t.
RA has forced me to give up some of my career dreams, but it has also opened my eyes up to a brighter picture and for that, I am grateful. I would describe it as needing glasses, and if you wear glasses or contacts, you know exactly what I mean. Things are much clearer when you put on your corrective lenses, aren’t they? I am not unhappy at the things I have given up, and I am actually grateful that I was given the opportunity to stop and smell the roses. And if not for RA, I would have never known how sweet smelling those roses were.
UPDATE: 11:30 a.m.: The stiffness and feeling is coming back into my leg, knee, ankle and foot, and I am having a hard time keeping my balance. Apparently, I have forgotten how to walk without limping, pain and stiffness. Isn't RA wonderful?
What are you thankful for?
I am a deep thinker. I always have been since I was a child. Lately, I feel like my career has not given me what I set out to achieve. I went into the legal field because I wanted to make a difference, and that is why I enjoyed the defense part of it. When people think of the law, they think of the party who says it has been wronged, they never think about the party being accused of the wrong. I always have felt that everyone deserved a defense, not because everyone is innocent, but because people’s intentions aren’t always bad. For example, doctors become doctors to help, and they set out to help every patient. They can’t always help every patient and doctors aren’t always right. It does not mean that they don’t try each and every time, and yes, sometimes, mistakes are made. That does not make those doctors bad doctors, it makes them human. If you look at defense work from that perspective, that’s when you realize that not all plaintiffs are wronged by the parties they sue.
When I look at my career lately, and I look at the state of the economy, I feel sorry for people who get sued or even the ones doing the suing. People are losing their homes and jobs on a daily basis and it is nobody’s fault. This is the reality of the America we currently live in. As Americans, we have changed how we perceive success. For me, I am just happy to have a roof over my children’s heads and food on our table. I am happy that the financial woes of last year are just a memory. I am happy to have an income to provide for my family and that my husband and I are both employed.
Why has the American dream come down to this? What happened to the competitive America our nation once was? We used to be an example for the rest of the world. America used to be the place every immigrant wanted to go to and every foreigner envied the American dream. I know that each of us determines our success at some level, but the holidays are fast approaching, and it saddens me to see so many families struggling. It saddens me that so many have lost homes, jobs, and their American dreams.
I know that many of us take for granted the simple things that we have, a roof over our heads, food on the table, and loved ones, but I choose not to forget the storm that I had to brave for the last two years – a storm that has finally allowed me to see in front of me. I don’t sit at the same table that celebrities or politicians sit and I probably never will, but I have changed because of the long storm I weathered. The biggest lesson I took with me as the storm calmed was how grateful I was for the simple things in my life. I learned how to be practical in order to hold on to those simple things.
I am thankful for so much, but mostly I am thankful for my family, the roof over our heads, the warm heat in our home, and the food on our table. I can’t ever take those things for granted and as much as I wish I could reach out to every family that is struggling, I know that all I can offer prayer. I hope that those prayers enough.
What are you thankful for?
When I look at my career lately, and I look at the state of the economy, I feel sorry for people who get sued or even the ones doing the suing. People are losing their homes and jobs on a daily basis and it is nobody’s fault. This is the reality of the America we currently live in. As Americans, we have changed how we perceive success. For me, I am just happy to have a roof over my children’s heads and food on our table. I am happy that the financial woes of last year are just a memory. I am happy to have an income to provide for my family and that my husband and I are both employed.
Why has the American dream come down to this? What happened to the competitive America our nation once was? We used to be an example for the rest of the world. America used to be the place every immigrant wanted to go to and every foreigner envied the American dream. I know that each of us determines our success at some level, but the holidays are fast approaching, and it saddens me to see so many families struggling. It saddens me that so many have lost homes, jobs, and their American dreams.
I know that many of us take for granted the simple things that we have, a roof over our heads, food on the table, and loved ones, but I choose not to forget the storm that I had to brave for the last two years – a storm that has finally allowed me to see in front of me. I don’t sit at the same table that celebrities or politicians sit and I probably never will, but I have changed because of the long storm I weathered. The biggest lesson I took with me as the storm calmed was how grateful I was for the simple things in my life. I learned how to be practical in order to hold on to those simple things.
I am thankful for so much, but mostly I am thankful for my family, the roof over our heads, the warm heat in our home, and the food on our table. I can’t ever take those things for granted and as much as I wish I could reach out to every family that is struggling, I know that all I can offer prayer. I hope that those prayers enough.
What are you thankful for?
11/15/2009
Buzzing Through Book
Photo Credit: ebeanstalk.com
Picking toys is not easy and there is a toy website called ebeanstalk, dedicated to selecting good, safe learning toys and toys for a 1 year old. BUT they need help from moms like me to help pick the toys. The toy they sent is called Buzzing Though Book by Manhattan Toy, one of their many unique toys.
Here is the deal on this toy: My little guy is fourteen months and loved the fun characters, bold colors, and the mirror. The Buzzing Through Book tells a story of a be who buzzes through the jungle, the sea, and much more. The bee is interactive in that it travels through the book as you tell the story of the many places your child and the bee visit. Each place the bee visits has hidden characters that your child can explore and because it is a soft cloth book, it is perfect for little hands.
Some neat things are the book:
- It is washable! Yes, washable and you know how messy babies are at that age.
- There are pop-up pictures, crinkly pages, and mirrors! All things babies between the ages of 15 to 18 months love!
- Your child will quickly learn how to navigate the bee to move from page to page though the holes.
My little guy instantly feel in love with the buzzing bee which is the star of the book. It did not take look for him to learn to guide the bee through the pages and buzz along with the story.
You can find the Buzzing Though Book at ebeanstalk.com.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
